Crucible Essay Reflection

     I started off this paper feeling quite confident as I went through researching and finding information about the paper, but this soon changed as I began writing my paper. I found many difficulties in trying to word what I was trying to say and to get my wording to flow along with my paper.  Finding the right examples from the story and from my research also seemed to be difficult.  Every time I found something that I believed fit the best in my story, I'd come across another that made me second guess that decision.  The majority of the time I spent writing this paper was trying to get correct examples from the text.  The part I found to be a real strong point in my paper was the opening paragraph.  This took me almost no time at all and every way I tried to word it made sense and sounded good.  When I was done with it, I was feeling really confident that the strongest part of my paper was my thesis and opening paragraph.
     I found that the pre-writing activity for writing the first paragraph and the thesis statement helped me in many ways.  It allowed me to not think of the paper as a whole, but instead break it down and focus on one small piece at a time.  This activity really made it possible to put all my focus into one area of my paper and after the whole essay was complete it turned out to be the strongest part of the paper.  I feel that if I would have done more of these activities before writing the story, it would have ended up a much better paper.  In future essays I plan on spending more time doing pre-writing activities as I feel it will turn out a much better end product.
     When it came to peer editing, I found that it basically did nothing for me.  I honestly don't think I even took one thing they said into consideration.  Peer editing the other person's paper also didn't do anything for me.  Even though we were both writing off the same prompt, the main idea you can use is still up in the air and does give you a lot of room to make changes to.  I just didn't think it was necessary to take any ideas from a paper involving the holocaust and put it into my paper involving a small town in Illinois.  I think the peer editing would be much more useful if you just discussed each person's paper in a small group of maybe four or five, not writing it down.  I believe hearing the criticism straight from the person and from more than one person would shine a new light on my paper and would have actually made me consider making some of the changes they suggested.
     The main strengths of my paper definitely lie within the first paragraph.  I feel as if there is no possible way to enhance my opening sentence along with the way I present the information in the middle sentences.  Also I  feel like if I had to pick one main sentence that really stands apart from the rest it's definitely my thesis statement.  It really describes what I'm trying to get across in the story well and does a good job describing what is to come in the rest of the essay.  I don't think I did a proper job with my conclusion though.  The whole story flows really well but then the conclusion almost ruins it.  For the next draft this is really where I need to put most of my focus and I plan on finding a way to turn one of the weaknesses of my story into one of my strengths.
   
   
   

Into the Wild ch.7

In the story Chris tells Franz "don't hesitate and allow yourself to make excuses." I think this is something that a lot of people should live by because in everyone's daily life, they hold back from doing alot of things they probably wish they would've done.  I know that I've done it a lot and had a lot of regrets.  Just this fall I decided not to play football but to instead just focus on school and do nothing else.  This turned out to be an awful decision.  Looking back at it, it wasn't really fear or anything like that that was holding me back, but instead just stupidity.  I honestly don't know why I did it and its now something that ill have to live with the rest of my life.  If I could go back and change it I would but now I realize that I have to live with the regrets and just get over it.

Thoreau Imitation

     As I lie out here in the grass of Orion High School, I can't help but to take in the many situations surrounding me.  The birds chirping from a distance, with their songs fading away as the various other noises chime in.  Clashing of branches as the gusts of winds pick up, blowing them and everything else around me.  I can sense the heat of the sun beating down on the back of my neck as I rest against the hard, sharp tree.  The way all of the cars zoom around me, all flowing together as one makes me feel as if I'm sitting in the middle of something much bigger than myself.  All I can do is try and realize my place within this world I am in in this moment.  A sudden wind gust takes many fallen leaves to hit me in the face, making me realize where I am again.  Now noticing the abundance of these leaves calls me to think about how this scene would have looked just a month ago.  With being in the fall season, it starts the death of the grass and flowers around me, not to mention the dreadful looking trees missing their leaves.  A sense of sorrow goes over me as it hits me that all I have to look forward to in the coming months is the cold weather taking over and my life sitting inside the warmth of my house coming back to me.  The only thing allowing me to keep a level head during this realization is the fact that I know next spring will come, and with it bringing the flowers, green grass, and leaves that I had known from just weeks before.  I try to find some goods coming with the winter and I notice the pure beauty of scene before me.  The soft sounds of chirping and winds blowing througout the field, the families outside their house enjoying the company of one another, friendly and familiar faces driving down the road as they're headed off to continue their day, and the many different colors ranging from the reds and oranges of leaves, to the green of the grass trying to keep its brightness for as long as possible.  With everything that I've seen, I come to a conclusion that despite my hatred of the winter season, the moment I am in at this time is exactly where I want to be.

Analysis of John Proctor

     When I think about the person John Proctor is perceived to be during the story, many different ideas of characters come up in my mind.  With him being one of the major characters this far into the story you get to see almost every side of him very early on.  First seeing John he seemed to be one of the leaders of Salem that many of the people tend to look up to and try and model themselves after.  When he walked through town people were always coming up to say hi to him and he was very well liked throughout the town.  John Proctor really seemed to be a one of the few model citizens in Salem.  But once John and Abigail are shown together in the same scene this all seemed to change.  We learn that Abigail was kicked out of the Proctor household for reasons that weren't named but it was inferred that it was due to John having an affair with Abigail.  Personally, when I heard this it kind of came as a surprise to me because of how John seemed to be  such a good person and a good family man.  From this point the view of him just came changing into Act II.  We see him and Elizabeth's relationship for the first time and it is not at all what it seemed like when John was telling Abigail how much he cares about his wife.  It was almost like the two could not stand each other and they had to try just not to fight.  They both seemed to get fed up with each other very fast and how their relationship works is a wonder to me considering how they acted during most of this act.  Mr. Hale then comes to visit the Proctor's to warn them that Elizabeth had been named a witch in court John goes from husband mad at his wife for worrying about him to a man that acts like he would give his heart and soul to the woman who he wed.  John basically tells the men that he will have to tear Elizabeth out of his arms and he will not let his wife die for him.  John Proctor has changed drastically in my mind and this would make him be a very dynamic character through just two short acts.  He also seems to have many personalities that would make him round as opposed to flat.  When it comes to how the other people in Salem view John, they tend to think of him as one of the leaders that people want to look up to and be like. Then, when he's with Abigail he tries to be a family man despite his former affair with the girl.  Finally, when he is at home with Elizabeth he is a strong, hard-working, loving, family man.  He seems to want to show Elizabeth that he will work hard to make their family work even if he won't just come out and say it.
     One quality about John that I think everyone can see is how much he values his reputation.  He loves when other people think good of him and he wants to do whatever it takes to make that happen.  John is proud that other people think highly of him.  He enjoys being a hard-working, family man and he cannot stand the idea of other people ruining that.  Such as his affair with Abigail.  While he made a major mistake that I think everyone will agree he regrets very much,  he realizes his mistake and will do whatever he can to make it up to his family and I believe that he is also trying to make it up to himself and prove to himself that he loves his wife and his family.  I feel like whenever Abigail tries to come on to him and he holds back, deep down inside it is a moral victory for him in proving to himself that he can be faithful to his wife again.  Another quality he has is how hard-working he is.  Almost every time you see him besides maybe once he is doing some type of work either in town or out at his house.  You always see him and Giles doing hard manual labor and this shows what type of people these two men are.  The one thing in the world that motivates John to act the way he does has to be the affair over everything else.  I feel like everything he does is to try and get back to how he used to be and John really wants to show everyone and himself what a good man he really is.
     John faces many different conflicts within the story but the major one would have to be his battle against society about how witchcraft is not real. There have been many occasions where he has shown that he does not believe in witchcraft and this has almost forced him to be sort of an outsider despite other people believing the same thing just being too scared to come out and say it.  We start to see his battle with society grow more and more as Elizabeth is accused of witchcraft and taken on trial.  While he's battling all of society with this you could also say that the real conflict comes down to just Abigail and him.  After all, she is the one who has been trying to get rid of Elizabeth and has now fake stabbed herself just to get a reason to accuse her of witchcraft.  There's been more than just that though that John has been fighting with Abigail about such as the affair and the fact that he knows Abigail and the other girls are faking it.
   

Sermon in the eyes of a Non-believer

Today I went to my first church sermon in several years.  I thought that I had completely lost touch with God and my religion overall but when I woke up today I thought that I'd give myself another chance to reconnect with God and hopefully rid myself of my sins.  I heard from one of the locals that a man named Jonathan Edwards, the leader of the Puritan religion, was conducting a church service in the town of Enfield just down the road.  When I arrived at the church it seemed just like every other church that I'd been at through my like.  I walked in and sat down in the back since there was nobody else I knew there.

The one thing different about this sermon then all the other ones I had been through was the minister.  Mr. Edwards had a very unique way of preaching to the people.  Instead of trying to tell everyone how great God is and how wonderful your life will be if you join him and join the Puritan religion, he was trying to strike fear into the people there and almost scare them into joining him.  Mr. Edwards told the people how easy it was for God to just throw people down to hell and not allow them to join him in heaven.  He even says, "we find it easy to tread on and crush a worm that we see crawling on the earth;  so it is easy for us to cut or singe a slender thread that any thing hangs by; thus easy is it for God when he pleases to cast his enemies down to hell." As the speech went on he just continued to try and strike fear into the people stating things such as "the wrath of God burns them", "the arrow on moment from being made drunk with your blood", and "God that holds you over the pit of hell".

The moment that he was done speaking, after what seemed like three hours, I ran out of that church and got home as quickly as possible.  The only thing I got out of that speech was realizing that that man is criminally insane and should not be allowed to talk to people in public like that.  I now know that my choice of getting rid of religion in my life was the right one and I will not be going back to church again.  If God doesn't want me in his life, I don't want to be any part of any group following him.

My Impressions of Writing

In my personal experience with writing i have found that when handling major writing assignments or projects I tend to slack off when I'm not really motivated by the subject that I am writing about.Like last year in chemistry we had a research paper about an element and it really took a lot to find the determination to actually sit down and write about something that I honestly couldn't care less about.  When I'm trying to do a major assignment I always try and find a way to tie it back to something that I care about and want to spend my time on.  I feel like the confidence I have in my work also has to do with how much I care about the idea I'm writing about.  In a paper that I have no feelings for and I know that I didn't do my absolute best on for the simple reason of I didn't care for writing it but when it's a paper that I'm very interested in and I want to succeed on I tend to be very confident because I can feel like I couldn't do any better than I did and if I don't receive a good score on it I really had no room writing it.  I would like to improve just my overall writing ability from word selection to how i format my works.

The unit that I am most excited for is the unit over modern works during the 20th and 21st century.  I believe that this will be the unit that I do the best on because of its ties to more modern works that I am more used too and i feel like when dealing with things you're more comfortable with you tend to be more confident and do a lot better on that section.  The unit that I'm least excited for would have to be the poetry/poetry out loud.  I definitely think that this will be the unit that I do the worst on and will really have to try if I want to get a good grade on it.  I'm not very confident when it comes to poetry and then when you add in having to read poetry to a group of my peers it just doesn't make for a good situation.